August 29, 2010

Kupido


To: mrkupido@yahoo.com
cc: desperada@gmail.com
Subject: Love wishes


Dear Mr. Kupido,
Greetings to you!
          
Pasensya na po kung mangungulit na naman ako sa inyo. Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses na akong sumulat sa'yo. But you know what, I still remember the very first time I've sent you a mail.

Humiling ako sa inyo noon na bigyan naman ako ng lovelife dahil masyado na akong napag-iiwanan ng mga dabarkads ko. I wished for you to give me a guy that is handsome and an equal gentleman that I can love and be with forever. Major major happiness ang naramdaman ko when 'J' suddenly came into my life matapos kong ipadala ang sulat ko. Fit na fit sa description na hinihiling ko sa inyo. I learned to love more than my pet dog chichie. Kaso dahil gwapo siya ay habulin siya ng mga chikababes. Hindi ko namalayang may ibang babae na siya minamahal. He just evaporated out of my life.

I grief my very first heartache. Sa pangalawang pagkakataon muli akong sumulat sa inyo and ask for another guy. Isang lalaking kahit hindi gwapo basta magiging tapat sa pag-iibigan naming dalawa. Then I met 'M', a handsome and gentleman guy just like 'J' but unlike him he never once glance at other girls. Ang masaklap, kaya naman pala ganun ay dahil parehas kami ng type---lalaki. He's a closet gay kaya naman pala he never attempted to kiss me even when were alone. Akala ko naman he respect me a lot kaya ganun.

For the 2nd time duguan na naman ang puso ko. I wrote to you once again. Hiniling kong muli mo akong bigyan ng guy na hindi ako ipagpapalit sa kahit sinong lalaki o sa ibang babae. Akala ko noon nagsawa ka na kakatupad ng love wishes ko kasi natagalan bago dumating sa buhay ko ang isang 'D'. Gwapo, matalino, masungit, at suplado but when it comes to me ay napakabait niya. Sa sobrang bait niya I always joke na pwede na siyang kunin ni Lord. I never knew that joke would once again bring emptiness to my heart. He died because of brain cancer. Ang hirap maghinanakit dahil that time ang kalaban ko ay si Lord at si Kamatayan. Kahit saang anggulo wala akong laban.

Walo akong ibang matatakbuhan kaya muli akong sumulat sayo. I didn't  ask for anyone this time. I just pour out all my heart's pain and sorrow. I never thought that you're too generous enough to send me a gift. Out of nowhere 'A' entered my life. He's like an Angel who'd erased all the pain, sorrows, and emptiness out of my heart. Nakaya kong muling mabuhay and I am grateful for you, Mr. Kupido. We got married two years ago, I wrote to you but I never got any reply. Sayang 'di mo nasaksihan ang wedding of the year. I sent you another letter nine months ago to share the good news with no response again from you. Today, I am writing to you to share the joy I am currently experiencing from being a new mom. I am so happy I could die. Lahat ng ito ay hindi mangyayari kung wala ka lalo na kung hindi ako naniwala sa sarili ko. I am very thankful to you.Naging parte ka ng kahibangan at mga pangarap ko. Thank you so much!

Yours beautiful,
Ms. Desperada

---------------------------
Note:
Madalas tayong humiling ng isang lalaking tutupad sa ating mga pangarap at kukumpleto sa ating buhay. Mas maganda kung ang taong mamahalin mo ay siyang dream guy mo, hindi ba? Pero ang pag-ibig ay hindi palaging nakakamit sa pamamagitan ng dasal o hiling. True love always waits for the right time and the right person. We need not to rush everything kahit pa sabihin ng ibang huli ka na sa biyahe at napag-iiwanan ng panahon. Si kupido, totoo man siya o hindi ay naging bahagi na ng ating kultura noon, ngayon, at marahil ay sa mga susunod pang henerasyon. Walang masamang maniwalang nag-eexist nga siya sa mundong ibabaw pero ang buhay natin ay hindi dapat palaging ipinauubaya sa ating mga paniniwala. Sometimes we choose where we would be happy and contented kahit hindi siya ang ideal guy/girl mo.

"Lahat ng bilihin nagmamahalan na...tayong dalawa nalang ang hindi..."

August 28, 2010

My Beloved Lola

Mahal kong Lola,

Matagal na rin po tayong hindi nagkikita. Ilang buwan na rin ang nagdaan. Miss na miss na kita. Hindi ko maiwasang isipin ang nakaraan. Noong tayo ay magkasama pa. Noong bata pa ako...ikaw ang naturo sa aking magsulat ng aking pangalan. Ikaw rin ang nagturo sa aking magbasa ng abakada. Hanggang sa pagtuturo sa aking magdasal bago at matapos kumain. Ikaw ang kasakasama kong magsimba tuwing Linggo na tinutulugan mo pa ang misa lalo na kapag nagsesermon na si Father John. Ikaw ang umaatend ng meeting sa eskwelahan kung kinakailangan. Lahat ng karanasan ko sa buhay ay ikaw ang aking kasakasama...sa lungkot, pighati, saya, at tagumpay. Ikaw ang naroon. Tanging ikaw. Kaya pasensya na kung medyo matagal akong hindi nagpakita medyo busy kasi ngayon sa trabaho. Ngayong kaarawan ko nais kong ikaw muli ang aking kasama. Mamaya, pagkagaling ko sa opisina dadalawin kita. Dadaan muna ako ng Flower Shop para naman may maialay ako sa puntod mo.

Miss na talaga kita, lola.

Lubos na nagmamahal,
Your beloved Lola's girl.

---------
Note: Ang lihim na ito ay likha lamang ng makulit kong kaisipan. Sa kasalukuyan, ang aking mahal na Lola ay nagpapagaling mula sa kanyang sakit sa pamamahay ng aking uncle. Toinks! *grins*

"Lahat ng bilihin nagmamahalan na...tayong dalawa nalang ang hindi..."

August 26, 2010

NCMH

Before being a nursing student, what I feel about people with mental illness was just plain sympathy. It's different from what i feel right now. What I have in heart is pure EMPATHY. Put yourself in what they are experiencing and you would surely understand them.

Part of our related learning experience is being exposed in different areas, one of which is in a mental hospital. The past two weeks, we've spent our duty hours giving care to patients with mental illness. Hearing the stories behind their present condition melt my heart. What we could only do is assist in their rehabilitation and hope that they would soon recover. Prayers, apart from nursing care is one of those thing that we could do.

 Julie, Me, Ate Eva, Chan, Khat, Ate Salve, Ma'am Pioquinto, Lhyne-tot, and Ate Cristy


After 6 days, our rotation in the National Center for Mental Health has come to an end. I am glad that we survived the tons of requirements needed and we don't have to wake up 3am in the morning just not to be late. But, part of me is sad because we'll be leaving behind people that had entered our heart even for a short period of time. They had been part of our lives and we will surely miss them. Our memories with them will continue to live in my heart.

Ate Salve, Julie, Ate Eva, Khat, C.I. from Global, Chan, Ma'am Pioquinto, Lhyne, Ate Cristy, and Me

The only guy in our group: Kuya Peter
At the entrance of NCMH

With Sisa, Crispin, and Basilio
More...and more pictures...
I don't want to model...Promise! :)

Hooray, group 19!
Goodbye NCMH... 'till next time...


"Lahat ng bilihin nagmamahalan na...tayong dalawa nalang ang hindi..."

August 22, 2010

Forbid me

I couldn't be where I want to be.
I couldn't be with who I want to be.
I couldn't fathom this unwanted feeling.
I still couldn't believe I fell in Love with you.

You, whom I care the most.
You, whom I treasure like a priceless diamond.
You, who has the same dazzling beauty as me.
You, who has the same blood as me.
You! Yes, you my dear brother.
I wanna say, I Love You.

"Lahat ng bilihin nagmamahalan na...tayong dalawa nalang ang hindi..."

August 21, 2010

Sa aking KASAL

May napanuod akong wedding...the ambiance is so romantic and their exchange of vows were just utterly full of love.



It's a beach wedding. Well, kung ako ang tatanungin mas maganda pa ring ikasal sa tahanan ni God. Pero hindi naman sa kung saang lugar ka ikinasal nasusukat ang halaga ng isang kasal. Masa maganda pa ring nagmamahalan ang bride and groom and they are willing to face the life they're going to enter.'Ika nga ng mga matatanda, "Ang kasal ay hindi parang kanin na isusubo at kapag napaso ay iluluwa." Tama? Tama!

Anyway tutal usapang kasal na rin 'tong topic e sasagutin ko na yung matagal ng question sakin ng isa kong friend, "Anong dream wedding mo?"

Ano nga ba? Well, ang gusto kong wedding ay masyadong grandiose and expensive. Hindi naman sa ambisyosa ako masyado noh it's just that for me once in a lifetime lang akong ikakasal and i want it to be memorable. Ang gusto ko kasi mala fairytale with the touch of medieval period. The colors are royal gold, royal blue, and silver. The bridal bouquet must be composed of three color of roses...red, pink, and white. Bongga din dapat ang singers... hehehe... The bridal gown's color must be pale white with a touch of dark pink. Kabligtaran naman nito ang reception, gusto ko simple lang.

Ikaw? Anong dream wedding mo??

 "Lahat ng bilihin nagmamahalan na...tayong dalawa nalang ang hindi..."

August 7, 2010

This week

Dami nagyari sakin nitong week na ito. Bonggang bonggang recitation. I tried hard kaya not to be visible to my prof's eyes, pero kakaiwas kaw pa rin papansinin nila.

Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa o maiinis ako sa prof ko nung Thursday. Biruin mong patayuin ang beauty ko, buti nalang hindi lang ako mag-isa...marami kami.. BOOM! Bakit ba kasi sa lahat ng kakalimutan reproductive system pa ng female... e meron naman ako nun. Haha :)) Good thing nakasagot ako sa next question niya. Pero idol ko yung prof na yun, ang galing magturo e. Parang walking book lang. Saan kaya naka-store lahat ng alam nun? Hindi kaya sumabog utak niya sa sobrang dami niyang alam?

Nung Friday, nagulantang din ang beauty ko. May subject kasi akong speech isa pa sa mga minor subject ko. Bakit ako nagulantang? Bigla akong tinawag ni Mr. Speech, "Ms. Bajado, give a recap of what we had discussed last meeting." Palpitation... nag-ta-tachycardia na ko. Hello? Nung mga panahon yatang yun e busy ako sa kakatext. haha ..isang mabuting estudyante. "Sir anong ire-recap ko?" tapos bigla kong naalala, report ko pala yun... nyahaha shunga. Buti nalang alam ko, pero teka di pa pala ako safe nun kasi bigla nalang bumanat ng question si sir. Uber! kahit aircon yung room, diaphoretic na ako. Siya rin naman sumagot ng tanong niya haha.. loko. Nung sinabi niyang, "you may sit down." napa- OH MY GOTH talaga ako. Wew!

Nung isang araw nakita nanaman ako nung clinical coordinator namin. Ewan ko ba kung anong nakain nun at favorite akong asarin. Favorite niya akong tawaging OR nurse. Ini-endorse pa ako sa ibang C.I. kaya kahit ano talagang tago ko napapansin nila ako. Pumunta kasi ako sa office niya nun para tignan ang grade ko. Tatlo kami nun, ako unang nagtanong pero hinuli talaga niya ako. "Wow, OR nurse talaga," sabi niya nung nakita niya grade ko sa rotation namin sa OR. Pasaway. No comment nalang ako.

Yay, right now tinatamad na naman akong mag-aral. haha pasawy na bata talaga. Pero kelangan kong pilitin ang sarili ko kaya 'till here nalang muna mga dudes.

Toodles!


"Lahat ng bilihin nagmamahalan na...tayong dalawa nalang ang hindi..."

August 1, 2010

Reminiscing

Goodbye Lullabies,
Goodbye lollipops,
Goodbye tantrums,
Goodbye sweet innocent little nudges,
Goodbye my cute whining…

As I enter another chapter of my life.

In this another humble beginning, I learned to make funny infamous jokes and laugh amongst those familiar faces. I learned to mingle and have bunch of friends as many as I can. I learned to stumble and cry over a guy with a cute boyish grin. I had been once obsessed with a simply irresistible man. During those times, academic books and novels file up in my desk.

Responsibilities comes with these changes. With lil’ mistakes, I continually grow. With the guidance from the oldies, life wouldn’t be that hard, not that bad at all.

I looked over my bunch of baby things, though time pass by easily the memories I once have would never fade.

"Lahat ng bilihin nagmamahalan na...tayong dalawa nalang ang hindi..."