It’s been a long while since I have updated this blog. Some of you might know that I’d been active on Facebook, twitter and on tumblr. Well, it’s not like I don’t have anything to write in here or share with you guys, it’s just that I-Have-a-LAZY-Ass—stifle a laugh!
So, what? I am not lazy right now? No, I am writing today just for the sake of writing, made sense? I just don’t have anything to do and to keep my sanity intact I decided to write... Babble about anything that pop inside my crazy mind.
Anyway, how’s everyone’s hearts day? Mine, was just the usual plain-old-bitter-taste-normal-day, figures. Nothing exciting happened except that my crush accidentally read my love letter for him and doesn’t even know it’s for him. Oh, you can’t blame him though ‘cause I didn’t put any name on it, just this “Dear you” heading. Would he figures? Yes, he could except that he seems to have knocked his brain out of his head to even process that HE is the guy I am talking about in that goddamn letter. Man, I don’t even have the courage to tell him, “Hey, you’re that guy, stupid!” or even ask, “So? Do you love me too or not?”—I would die if anyone made me to. So, kill me for being so stupid myself.
Yesterday, an odd thought occurred to me. Maybe he knows he’s that guy but doesn’t want to admit it ‘cause that could ruin our friendship. We’ve gotten so close now that maybe he doesn’t want to risk that beautiful bond we had. Complicated, arrgh!
What do you think?
So anyway, if you want a peek of the letter just PM me here, richbajado@gmail.com!
Toodles, fellows!
Kisses :*
"Lahat ng bilihin nagmamahalan na...tayong dalawa nalang ang hindi..."
"Goodbye," sabi ng utak ko...kung sumang-ayon ang puso ko, hindi ko alam.
Mahirap din pala magsalita ng tapos.
Paulit-ulit...paulit-ulit...paulit-ulit nalang itong sentimyento ko, wala namang nagbabago...nabawas o nadagdag man lang. Pwede na akong kumanta ng, "You're still the one I want---"
Naloka, hindi lang ako...pati sila!
They always asked, "Ano ba meron diyan sa panget na 'yan at 'di ka maka-move on?"
My answer, "I do not know either." na totoo naman. Wala akong mahanap na sagot sa kaisa-isang tanong na iyon. I just know you'll always be.
When will I forget you is still a hanging question...perhaps it would come to a point that even this blog would get tired of my unreasonable repetitive sentiments.
Goodluck naman! For now, goodbye muna sa "he-who-must-not-be-named" kong tawag sa kanya. Sa ngayon ay handa na akong tawagin siya sa buong pangalan niya without a winced...without holding back my tears.
"Lahat ng bilihin nagmamahalan na...tayong dalawa nalang ang hindi..."
To: mrkupido@yahoo.com
cc: desperada@gmail.com
Subject: Love wishes
Dear Mr. Kupido,
Greetings to you!
Pasensya na po kung mangungulit na naman ako sa inyo. Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses na akong sumulat sa'yo. But you know what, I still remember the very first time I've sent you a mail.
Humiling ako sa inyo noon na bigyan naman ako ng lovelife dahil masyado na akong napag-iiwanan ng mga dabarkads ko. I wished for you to give me a guy that is handsome and an equal gentleman that I can love and be with forever. Major major happiness ang naramdaman ko when 'J' suddenly came into my life matapos kong ipadala ang sulat ko. Fit na fit sa description na hinihiling ko sa inyo. I learned to love more than my pet dog chichie. Kaso dahil gwapo siya ay habulin siya ng mga chikababes. Hindi ko namalayang may ibang babae na siya minamahal. He just evaporated out of my life.
I grief my very first heartache. Sa pangalawang pagkakataon muli akong sumulat sa inyo and ask for another guy. Isang lalaking kahit hindi gwapo basta magiging tapat sa pag-iibigan naming dalawa. Then I met 'M', a handsome and gentleman guy just like 'J' but unlike him he never once glance at other girls. Ang masaklap, kaya naman pala ganun ay dahil parehas kami ng type---lalaki. He's a closet gay kaya naman pala he never attempted to kiss me even when were alone. Akala ko naman he respect me a lot kaya ganun.
For the 2nd time duguan na naman ang puso ko. I wrote to you once again. Hiniling kong muli mo akong bigyan ng guy na hindi ako ipagpapalit sa kahit sinong lalaki o sa ibang babae. Akala ko noon nagsawa ka na kakatupad ng love wishes ko kasi natagalan bago dumating sa buhay ko ang isang 'D'. Gwapo, matalino, masungit, at suplado but when it comes to me ay napakabait niya. Sa sobrang bait niya I always joke na pwede na siyang kunin ni Lord. I never knew that joke would once again bring emptiness to my heart. He died because of brain cancer. Ang hirap maghinanakit dahil that time ang kalaban ko ay si Lord at si Kamatayan. Kahit saang anggulo wala akong laban.
Walo akong ibang matatakbuhan kaya muli akong sumulat sayo. I didn't ask for anyone this time. I just pour out all my heart's pain and sorrow. I never thought that you're too generous enough to send me a gift. Out of nowhere 'A' entered my life. He's like an Angel who'd erased all the pain, sorrows, and emptiness out of my heart. Nakaya kong muling mabuhay and I am grateful for you, Mr. Kupido. We got married two years ago, I wrote to you but I never got any reply. Sayang 'di mo nasaksihan ang wedding of the year. I sent you another letter nine months ago to share the good news with no response again from you. Today, I am writing to you to share the joy I am currently experiencing from being a new mom. I am so happy I could die. Lahat ng ito ay hindi mangyayari kung wala ka lalo na kung hindi ako naniwala sa sarili ko. I am very thankful to you.Naging parte ka ng kahibangan at mga pangarap ko. Thank you so much!
Yours beautiful,
Ms. Desperada
---------------------------
Note:
Madalas tayong humiling ng isang lalaking tutupad sa ating mga pangarap at kukumpleto sa ating buhay. Mas maganda kung ang taong mamahalin mo ay siyang dream guy mo, hindi ba? Pero ang pag-ibig ay hindi palaging nakakamit sa pamamagitan ng dasal o hiling. True love always waits for the right time and the right person. We need not to rush everything kahit pa sabihin ng ibang huli ka na sa biyahe at napag-iiwanan ng panahon. Si kupido, totoo man siya o hindi ay naging bahagi na ng ating kultura noon, ngayon, at marahil ay sa mga susunod pang henerasyon. Walang masamang maniwalang nag-eexist nga siya sa mundong ibabaw pero ang buhay natin ay hindi dapat palaging ipinauubaya sa ating mga paniniwala. Sometimes we choose where we would be happy and contented kahit hindi siya ang ideal guy/girl mo.
"Lahat ng bilihin nagmamahalan na...tayong dalawa nalang ang hindi..."
