I am an emotional person. I am moody and have tantrums like a child. Kapag nakita na ng mom ko that I am frowning alam na niyang may topak ako, it's either galit ako or ewan lang. At times when I can't release my feelings and tension I write the words that expresses what I feel. They are my darlings--- my poems and short stories.
Yesterday I chatted with an acquittance and have an interesting talk to as how he got interested in writing. He got indulged in reading literary pieces when he is feeling emotional--- just like me the only difference is that he read while I write. He had written his first work, a poem when he was in 3rd year Highschool. Since I am a person who admire work of others specially if with quality and equal emotions, I have asked for his permission to post his first ever poem here in my page. I felt honored of course when he agreed.
MY LOVING PEN
I’m so confused of what I feel
I don’t know what this feeling is
It’s something my heart can’t reveal
But this to you I should promise
I don’t know what you have possess
I can’t tell this is how I feel
You’re someone my heart can’t resist
Rejection by you I couldn’t deal
How will I explain to make you believe
Wandering what are the right words to say
When you’re beside me, I remain passive
‘Coz my fear keeps the melody away
To have you as my friend is a treasure
But my heart beats beyond the word “friend”
I’m just telling how I feel that’s for sure!
To lie is something I haven’t intend
Why does the sound of your voice give me butterflies?
You have captivated me for all the things you do
Why can’t I explain when I look in your eyes?
And why can I so impossibly be in love with you?
Maybe it’s the way you talk to me
For the first time, that special day
Maybe it was your soothing voice
That calms my heart in every way
Maybe it was your gentle smile,
Your simple and angelic face
Maybe it was your cute eyes
That lit up the darkest place
Now you know what I really mean
The engulfed thoughts are so hard to conceal
I may sound absurd, but I’m certain
That all the words I wrote is for real
Now there’s something bothering me
Will our friendship stays the same?
I know I can’t hide this feeling
But what If you don’t feel the same?
I will never ever leave you
When the rest of the world is gone
I will always be here for you
When you find your problems undone
You really mean a lot to me
Yet, Im not hoping to be your special someone
Maybe you used to call me crazy…
But inspiring me makes my poem a special one
My heart, the witness of my secrecy
But my mouth could not testify
Until I realize pretending is not so easy
That I can’t control my pen to deny!
by Edward Newgate
----->> i dunno if I am allowed to published his real name so i just wrote his [i think] alias. :))
Note: if you are going to read this post [i know you would] thank you for allowing me. It's a pleasure in my part.
"Lahat ng bilihin nagmamahalan na...tayong dalawa nalang ang hindi..."
June 25, 2010
June 17, 2010
INSOMNIA
I asked, "Bakit walang 'in-despair' na relationship STATUS?" sa FB...
Once again, I am full of Anguish. I am not my NATURAL self today. My mind is full of thoughts like a suite case full of clothes, BULGING... ready to burst AT ANY MOMENT. My bloody red eyes just wanted to close tight, HUG my pillow and drift to the realm of dreamland. It's almost 2 o'clock in the morning. Despite the cold weather due the rain I still can't find myself SLEEPY. My mind and body stays in full alert. I know this is isn't my excessive consumption of coffee but because of your IN-CONSISTENCE. You...you always made me wonder what I am to you. Since the day I met you I have learned to FORGET about him and started to continuously LOVE YOU. Day after day that you talked with me, text me, call me, and chat with me you always made me feel SPECIAL. In the middle of every sadness that fills my heart your the only one that can once again put up a smile in my face. For that you have unconsciously snatch his thrown in my HEART. Yes, you now occupy it.
I've been fooling myself, that's what I reckon. Still, I want to keep on Loving you---SECRETLY!
I don't know where I really stand in your life. It made my heart ache. I felt the emotional tears well down my cheeks. I can't ask you---I wont withstand the answer you might uttered. I guess till I have the courage I would always be on the edge. 'Till I have the answer I would always stay up late...wondering.
2:15 am. It's still raining, what a coincidence. I think I need to let my mind be at peace...have some decent sleep and maybe tomorrow I won't be thinking about this stupid LOVE. Now, where did I put those sleeping pills? Oppss...I don't have any suicide intention, just one to make me---my heart rested.
A deep sigh...and GOOD NIGHT or should I say good MORNING. AIGOO!
"Lahat ng bilihin nagmamahalan na...tayong dalawa nalang ang hindi..."
Once again, I am full of Anguish. I am not my NATURAL self today. My mind is full of thoughts like a suite case full of clothes, BULGING... ready to burst AT ANY MOMENT. My bloody red eyes just wanted to close tight, HUG my pillow and drift to the realm of dreamland. It's almost 2 o'clock in the morning. Despite the cold weather due the rain I still can't find myself SLEEPY. My mind and body stays in full alert. I know this is isn't my excessive consumption of coffee but because of your IN-CONSISTENCE. You...you always made me wonder what I am to you. Since the day I met you I have learned to FORGET about him and started to continuously LOVE YOU. Day after day that you talked with me, text me, call me, and chat with me you always made me feel SPECIAL. In the middle of every sadness that fills my heart your the only one that can once again put up a smile in my face. For that you have unconsciously snatch his thrown in my HEART. Yes, you now occupy it.
I've been fooling myself, that's what I reckon. Still, I want to keep on Loving you---SECRETLY!
I don't know where I really stand in your life. It made my heart ache. I felt the emotional tears well down my cheeks. I can't ask you---I wont withstand the answer you might uttered. I guess till I have the courage I would always be on the edge. 'Till I have the answer I would always stay up late...wondering.
2:15 am. It's still raining, what a coincidence. I think I need to let my mind be at peace...have some decent sleep and maybe tomorrow I won't be thinking about this stupid LOVE. Now, where did I put those sleeping pills? Oppss...I don't have any suicide intention, just one to make me---my heart rested.
A deep sigh...and GOOD NIGHT or should I say good MORNING. AIGOO!
"Lahat ng bilihin nagmamahalan na...tayong dalawa nalang ang hindi..."
June 14, 2010
I love RAIN
After 48 years na mainit ang panahon... UMUULAN na--- Layas EL niNYo LOLz.. Maraming tao ang ayaw sa ulan sapagkat dahil sa kadahilanang ayaw nilang mabasa.. maputik pa ---- PUTEEK yan!! Pero AKO like na like ko ang ulan. BAKIT 'ika mo??
1. Masarap maligo sa ulan ...libre tubig! Basta ba kapag naligo ka e wag yung see-through ang suot mo [mahiya ka uy!! :))]
2. Nostalgic! Lagi kong naalala yung kabataan ko... yung mga times na wala pa ako kamuwang-muwang sa mundo--- lalo na kay PAG-IBIG??
3. Kapag gusto kong MAG-KA-SAKIT dahil ayaw ko pumasok sa school.. nagbababad lang ako sa ulan and VIOLA... may LAGNAT na ako kinabukasan.. [PAALALA: wag gayahin.. :)))]
4. Kapag feel kong mag-echoserang baliw-baliwan emo-frog... Tapat lang sa ulan at WALANG MAKAKAHALATA ng IYONG TEARS..
5. Pero mas masarap MALIGO SA ULAN WITH YOUR SPECIAL SOMEONE.. dahil sapagkat kapag nanginginig ka na sa ginaw.. LIBRE YAKAP.. uber!!
Iyon ay ilan lamang sa mga magagandang dulot ng ULAN sa aking buhay.. BOW.. toinks!
"Lahat ng bilihin nagmamahalan na...tayong dalawa nalang ang hindi..."
June 6, 2010
An Angel
Twilight approached and I silently weep, lamenting for my loss. Through the slumber of this quiet Fortress his demonic presence still lingers. His very thought torments me.
I can’t do anything but let these shitty bloody tears of mine fell down my fair cheeks. My soul is dire with hatred for myself while my heart only knows loneliness.
I am trap in the illusion of his love away from my sanctuary. Insanity slowly feasts on my mind, drowning me. I let solemnity abandoned me.
In my deepest sleep a light wakes me, invading my solitude. I opened my sleepy ruby eyes. An Angel utterly elegant and radiant penetrated my lair. He’s more beautiful than what stainless glass describes. I closed my eyes again as I felt his warm hands touch my cheeks.
“Thou shall not weep. Hate thy self not. Let sanity leave thee not.” I heard him say. Slowly he traced every lines of my face “I shall help thee forget thy damn love.” His golden voice softly uttered.
“How?” I asked.
“It’ll be wise enough to leave this damnation of thee.” I eyed him intensely, wondering how soon it’ll be ‘till I wake up from this sweet dream. “Now, sleep again and rest in my arms. I shall not let thee be alone. Tomorrow we shall depart thy citadel,” he said once again. Still with doubt I obey his commando.
Morn came and I wake up in the Angel’s arms. He smiled his sweet smile almost melting my temperance. He didn’t let go till were out of the fortress. Outside the citadel, my fate awaits.
Day by day we travelled. Land by land we soar. Gradually, I learned to forget my love for that Demon.
This Angel of mine brings back my sanity. He vanquish hatred away from myself. He put happiness in my once lonely heart.
As noon of our fifth month together crept and sunset slowly fades, we stood close together in front the heavy steel gate of his citadel.
With a loving look in his eyes he took my hand and murmured, “This is my castle, my kingdom where thee shall be the new queen.”
Twilight approached and I silently weep not for my loss but for a new love. “Together Forever” I whispered.
This Angel, my Angel taught me how to love again.
"Lahat ng bilihin nagmamahalan na...tayong dalawa nalang ang hindi..."
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