I asked, "Bakit walang 'in-despair' na relationship STATUS?" sa FB...
Once again, I am full of Anguish. I am not my NATURAL self today. My mind is full of thoughts like a suite case full of clothes, BULGING... ready to burst AT ANY MOMENT. My bloody red eyes just wanted to close tight, HUG my pillow and drift to the realm of dreamland. It's almost 2 o'clock in the morning. Despite the cold weather due the rain I still can't find myself SLEEPY. My mind and body stays in full alert. I know this is isn't my excessive consumption of coffee but because of your IN-CONSISTENCE. You...you always made me wonder what I am to you. Since the day I met you I have learned to FORGET about him and started to continuously LOVE YOU. Day after day that you talked with me, text me, call me, and chat with me you always made me feel SPECIAL. In the middle of every sadness that fills my heart your the only one that can once again put up a smile in my face. For that you have unconsciously snatch his thrown in my HEART. Yes, you now occupy it.
I've been fooling myself, that's what I reckon. Still, I want to keep on Loving you---SECRETLY!
I don't know where I really stand in your life. It made my heart ache. I felt the emotional tears well down my cheeks. I can't ask you---I wont withstand the answer you might uttered. I guess till I have the courage I would always be on the edge. 'Till I have the answer I would always stay up late...wondering.
2:15 am. It's still raining, what a coincidence. I think I need to let my mind be at peace...have some decent sleep and maybe tomorrow I won't be thinking about this stupid LOVE. Now, where did I put those sleeping pills? Oppss...I don't have any suicide intention, just one to make me---my heart rested.
A deep sigh...and GOOD NIGHT or should I say good MORNING. AIGOO!
"Lahat ng bilihin nagmamahalan na...tayong dalawa nalang ang hindi..."