I Love You...GOODBYE!

For the seventh time I sighed. I consciously look at my phone hoping that it will beep. I haven't slept properly for the past few days. Dark circles are around my eyes that can't deny the fact of depression I am feeling right now.

I can't let this case rest until solve but I don't have the courage to dial the number --- why...what...how...there's so many questions I needed to ask, yet I am afraid.

Fear engulf my heart like a hungry Lion growling wildly. I am hopeless, I know.

I heard my weak voice shrieked as light flooded across the room.

He is standing in front of the door. I can reflect pain in his eyes as he closely studied my hopeless condition.

He moaned, " What are you doing with yourself?"

" W-why do you care?"

" Because I---why---y-you look awful." I didn't realize I am crying 'till I felt the hot tears welling down my cheeks.

He step forward but abruptly stand back in front of the door. He looked away at me, maybe not wanting to see my tears.

" Why are you here?"

" I just wanted to say goodbye" He said still not looking at me

I whimper in silence. I couldn't stand this. It's killing me.

" But why? Why you have to say goodbye?"

"  You don't have to know. I just wanted to see you for the last time before it's all over."

" It hasn't have to end" I argued stubbornly

I looked at his face and saw the tears I didn't expected from him. In a split second I'm at his side wiping the tears I didn't know what is for.

" I love you...but I have to say goodbye" and for the last time he kissed me passionately.

I cried. What's the point? Saying I love you yet saying goodbye. Those line left a hole in my heart that is irreparable.

That was three months ago. That scene that keep on hunting my endless dreams. Now---now I am looking at his cold face. He is still beautiful despite all the pain he had suffered from his disease. I don't know. Being near him is still pointless no matter how near I am to him right now.

I can hear the endless cries around me as the soil slowly covers the casket wherein his body lies. But despite of all those noise I felt all alone. Empty.

He left me and that would be forever.

I sighed. I couldn't utter any parting words but the same words he said to me three months ago...

' I Love you...goodbye!'

Jailed

Broken dreams,

Losing hope-

I looked at the shattered mirror

There’s shadow in my face,

Blood n my hands...

I scream-

Terror flooded my heart

There’s no way to escape

Tears Fall from the sky

Trying to wash my mistake

I run-

Darkness blinded my eyes

Silence deafens my Ear.

I drop in my Knees,

My shoulder shaking with fear

I felt the cold bars

In my bare hands

I gasp...I close my eyes,

And say goodbye to the Light.

So Sick

I hate it when I'm sick. The feeling of nausea and dizziness plus the shivering and chilling factor. It made me think that at any moment I would soon die. Promise! I would never wish to be sick again. Just like what the song says:

"Be careful what you wish for cause you might just get it...you might just get it"

and I learned my lesson...never wish to be sick!

The Vampire of my Dreams

I have endlessly dreamed of this a thousand times before.

Across the corner of the street I can make out two figures standing face to face. One wearing fear and shock in his kind face. The other one seems not to notice the man’s emotion. He was standing there in front of him clutching fierce fully the man’s shoulders.

I managed a blink before I heard the agonizing scream of the man. Leaning in his neck is the other man in the black cloak. When he let go of the man’s shoulder it was just a lifeless body, its eyes wide opened. I fought the urge to let out a scream.

I clutch my chest and step backward. I heard the echo of my footsteps. The hooded figure looked at my way. My mouth dropped open when I caught sight of his crimson red eyes under the faint light of the lamp post.

He slowly glides my way not tearing his gaze away from me. I started to panic when he gets nearer and nearer. I closed my eyes. It flew open when I felt his cold hand caressing my cheeks. I sigh – why it feels so good?

The horror that flooded my heart moments ago was replaced by an unexplained feeling. I closely studied his beautiful face. His dark crimson red eyes are filled with lust…hunger. He has a pale skin, white as a snow that glistened under the light. He has those perfectly shaped red lips that matched his handsome face crowned with long blond hair. It’s just like looking at a Greek God that descends from the Heavens above. Without noticing it I found myself touching his cold smooth face with his eyes closed. It took me a full minute to realize his shoulders are not moving…he’s not breathing or he’s trying not to.

I shriek when a soft growl escaped his throat.

His eyes flew open. ‘I’m sorry’ I heard his dark velvet voice said. When I didn’t utter a response he nestled me into his cold arms. I shivered and just like thousands of times before I would wake up.

However, this time I didn’t wake up. No clock alarmed at my side. I heard no shouting from my mom downstairs asking me to hurry up.

I closed my eyes hard as I could, but when I opened it I’m still looking at his beautiful ashen face. I gasp when he lowered his lips to mine. I moaned as millions of burning sensation lingers to every part of my body and soul reaching my heart. He looked at me passionately…desire burning in his eyes. He cradled my nape with his big hands exposing my neck.

He opened his mouth that exposed two sharp fangs. I open my mouth but no sound came out of it. He started to lean at my neck, but when I was just about to give in he let go of me.

‘Run’ he commanded in a low voice without even looking at me. Hurt is in his eyes…he is THIRSTY.

I hesitated but he pushed me. I started to run endlessly. I can hear his growl behind me.

Panting, I stop running when my feet started to ache. I looked back and I didn’t see him anymore, but I can hear the distant echo of his confession…

‘I love you! Don’t ever come back here. I don’t want to hurt you. Please, never dream of me again. Never fall under my illusion again.’

Right then I started to cry…my heart aching. I started to run back but when I was just a heartbeat away from him my alarm clock startled me and forces my consciousness to wake up.

Sanity

I’m just an illusion trap in this world. I breathed in the memory of the girl lost in the vortex of the unknown. On her memories I remember the longing and the feeling of being lost. I remember his deep sea green eyes. That color that bind her in the deepest room of her mind that I now owned.

I woke up as a start feeling nauseated. In my blurred vision I can see anxious faces waiting…for what I would become. A sudden feeling of claustrophobia engulf me as those unfamiliar faces leaned over and attack me with different questions each of which I don’t know how to respond.

Comprehension doesn’t seem to work fast in this mind. I fought the urge to whimper and beg for another world. I closed my eyes and let them read the mixed feeling of irritation and anxiousness in my face. It took me a minute or so to breath comfortably again as the sudden silence deafens my ears.

i heard a sob in the far corner of my head.

Who are you?

Me? I don’t know who I am

You don’t have any place in this world, get out of my head

I can’t…that’s impossible

No…please! I need to get back to him. His waiting for me

Who is he?

It’s none of your business!

I can remember him

You don’t know him. Please let me through. Set me free, I beg you.

No..no..no…

My breathing started to get shallow. I can feel the throbbing of my head. A monitor close by started to beep. I can feel the panic of the people around me. I briskly let my heavy lid close.

Darkness…

Silence…

I’m in the vortex again. Coldness and emptiness embraced me. Just when I started to cry a warm hand touched my face. I can feel the palpitation of my heart…beating wildly.

Oh! I gasp when she get pass through me and when I open my eyes I’m looking at his deep sea green eyes…With a sob I started to understand…

I’m just an illusion. I’m her insanity when he left her heart wounded.