So Sick

I hate it when I'm sick. The feeling of nausea and dizziness plus the shivering and chilling factor. It made me think that at any moment I would soon die. Promise! I would never wish to be sick again. Just like what the song says:

"Be careful what you wish for cause you might just get it...you might just get it"

and I learned my lesson...never wish to be sick!

The Vampire of my Dreams

I have endlessly dreamed of this a thousand times before.

Across the corner of the street I can make out two figures standing face to face. One wearing fear and shock in his kind face. The other one seems not to notice the man’s emotion. He was standing there in front of him clutching fierce fully the man’s shoulders.

I managed a blink before I heard the agonizing scream of the man. Leaning in his neck is the other man in the black cloak. When he let go of the man’s shoulder it was just a lifeless body, its eyes wide opened. I fought the urge to let out a scream.

I clutch my chest and step backward. I heard the echo of my footsteps. The hooded figure looked at my way. My mouth dropped open when I caught sight of his crimson red eyes under the faint light of the lamp post.

He slowly glides my way not tearing his gaze away from me. I started to panic when he gets nearer and nearer. I closed my eyes. It flew open when I felt his cold hand caressing my cheeks. I sigh – why it feels so good?

The horror that flooded my heart moments ago was replaced by an unexplained feeling. I closely studied his beautiful face. His dark crimson red eyes are filled with lust…hunger. He has a pale skin, white as a snow that glistened under the light. He has those perfectly shaped red lips that matched his handsome face crowned with long blond hair. It’s just like looking at a Greek God that descends from the Heavens above. Without noticing it I found myself touching his cold smooth face with his eyes closed. It took me a full minute to realize his shoulders are not moving…he’s not breathing or he’s trying not to.

I shriek when a soft growl escaped his throat.

His eyes flew open. ‘I’m sorry’ I heard his dark velvet voice said. When I didn’t utter a response he nestled me into his cold arms. I shivered and just like thousands of times before I would wake up.

However, this time I didn’t wake up. No clock alarmed at my side. I heard no shouting from my mom downstairs asking me to hurry up.

I closed my eyes hard as I could, but when I opened it I’m still looking at his beautiful ashen face. I gasp when he lowered his lips to mine. I moaned as millions of burning sensation lingers to every part of my body and soul reaching my heart. He looked at me passionately…desire burning in his eyes. He cradled my nape with his big hands exposing my neck.

He opened his mouth that exposed two sharp fangs. I open my mouth but no sound came out of it. He started to lean at my neck, but when I was just about to give in he let go of me.

‘Run’ he commanded in a low voice without even looking at me. Hurt is in his eyes…he is THIRSTY.

I hesitated but he pushed me. I started to run endlessly. I can hear his growl behind me.

Panting, I stop running when my feet started to ache. I looked back and I didn’t see him anymore, but I can hear the distant echo of his confession…

‘I love you! Don’t ever come back here. I don’t want to hurt you. Please, never dream of me again. Never fall under my illusion again.’

Right then I started to cry…my heart aching. I started to run back but when I was just a heartbeat away from him my alarm clock startled me and forces my consciousness to wake up.

Sanity

I’m just an illusion trap in this world. I breathed in the memory of the girl lost in the vortex of the unknown. On her memories I remember the longing and the feeling of being lost. I remember his deep sea green eyes. That color that bind her in the deepest room of her mind that I now owned.

I woke up as a start feeling nauseated. In my blurred vision I can see anxious faces waiting…for what I would become. A sudden feeling of claustrophobia engulf me as those unfamiliar faces leaned over and attack me with different questions each of which I don’t know how to respond.

Comprehension doesn’t seem to work fast in this mind. I fought the urge to whimper and beg for another world. I closed my eyes and let them read the mixed feeling of irritation and anxiousness in my face. It took me a minute or so to breath comfortably again as the sudden silence deafens my ears.

i heard a sob in the far corner of my head.

Who are you?

Me? I don’t know who I am

You don’t have any place in this world, get out of my head

I can’t…that’s impossible

No…please! I need to get back to him. His waiting for me

Who is he?

It’s none of your business!

I can remember him

You don’t know him. Please let me through. Set me free, I beg you.

No..no..no…

My breathing started to get shallow. I can feel the throbbing of my head. A monitor close by started to beep. I can feel the panic of the people around me. I briskly let my heavy lid close.

Darkness…

Silence…

I’m in the vortex again. Coldness and emptiness embraced me. Just when I started to cry a warm hand touched my face. I can feel the palpitation of my heart…beating wildly.

Oh! I gasp when she get pass through me and when I open my eyes I’m looking at his deep sea green eyes…With a sob I started to understand…

I’m just an illusion. I’m her insanity when he left her heart wounded.

GriEf!!

I cant remember ever feeling so fragile
this heart of mine weep inside
I consciously watch their vicious smiles
as i stumble and fall along the line

the surge of emotion overwhelm me.

As twilight approach i plead
in my heart dawn does not exist
in pain...agony prevail!

Then a Devil swiftly walk my way,
He damningly intense my agony
Yet, as i whimper in silence
He nestle me in his arms
with kisses he dried my tears
Oh, hell! How my heart melts!
But when i open my eyes...his gone.
I vaguely remember his face
But the piercing feeling remains,
My heart race as I remember.

Twilight crept and i wait
for him to cross my way again
Till that time comes
My agony is at edge
Waiting for my demonic angel to erase it.

where am I now?

When they told me that i will transfer to a new school--shame on me, but--i really cried hard..as in..i don't actually know why i weep at that time. Maybe because i don't want to leave important things behind..my friends, my classmates, my school, the people who had believe in me and stay with me when i'm feeling lost..Or maybe it is because i am afraid.. Afraid to start a new life and to meet new people..to be in an unknown WORLD.

And true as it is..the first two weeks of my life in OLIVAREZ COLLEGE and at a new HOME had been full of fear..I am afraid to be rejected by the new society i had been force to fit in. I am afraid of what they had to say about me. Afraid that i couldn't blend in with the flow.

But what would happen to my life if i'll just continue to sulk? So, i tried to overcome my fear and interact with the people around me.

I guess i had been wrong after i realized that i didn't need to be afraid because that's just how life should be... We need to move on. We need to meet new people in order for us to bloom and be matured. In order for us to learn.

But the people that I had left behind wouldn't be buried in the past. They would always be a part of my life and who I am.

So where Am I right now?

..in my new WorLD along with the memories of my life in CMCC..

[i miss my friends, i miss ferryzz whill, i miss my professors, and i miss CMCC]